


Reality is Fragile

by gingerbread_lesbian



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Dream universe, F/F, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-10
Updated: 2016-03-17
Packaged: 2018-05-25 21:33:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6210937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gingerbread_lesbian/pseuds/gingerbread_lesbian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Nora remembers some of her past life in an ultra-vivid dream, it opens up a box of realizations and even more questions. Is she living in two realities or opening up forgotten memories? Will her relationship with Piper be able to survive all of this?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: Memories

Nora groaned softly into her pillow and heard the replying chuckle from behind her.  
  
“Come on, Nor. Time to get up.” The voice wasn’t Piper’s… Nora was sitting up in an instant and she looked back at the mattress to see Nate laughing at her. Nothing new there… but… She blinked, gazing at him for a long time until he raised an eyebrow and sat up.  
  
“You alright? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”  
  
“I… yeah… yeah, I’m alright.” She smiled a little and watched as he got up to go about the same routine he always did: put pants on over his boxers, then head right into the bathroom. Brush his teeth, wash his hands and face, comb his hair… Nora looked at her lap, confused. Had it all been a dream? There was no way! It had been so vivid… and it had lasted for so long… Nora bit her thumb nail lightly and crawled out of bed, looking at the soft blankets, at the comforting, normal things that existed in her pre-war home, her warm, happy, safe place.  
  
Shaun whimpered from his room and Nora could hear Codsworth going to check on him as she got dressed before joining the Mr. Handy in her son’s bedroom. She smiled, picking up the infant and rocking him lightly, pressing her lips to his forehead adoringly. She felt everything! She could feel the tender baby skin beneath her lips, the warmth of the other little body pressed against her own, and the breaths that moved Shawn's little chest up and down.  
  
The day was as normal as ever. They took Shaun to the park, played and enjoyed one another’s company. She couldn’t have asked for a nicer little day with her family. As they packed up to unwind, Nora eyed the bottle caps left over from their Nuka Cola binge and slid them into a plastic, ziplock baggie and, when they were home, she tucked them up into a cabinet before joining her husband in bed once more.  
  
“How are you feeling?” Nate asked when she settled into their bed, running his hand along her cheek.  
  
“Fine! Fine…” She smiled at him, but he didn’t buy it this time.  
  
“You’ve been acting strange all day, Nora. I know you better than that. Is this about your doctor’s appointment tomorrow?” He asked softly and she shook her head quickly, a warmth creeping over her cheeks. In all of her post-apocalyptic adventuring, dream or not, she had forgotten about it.  
  
“No, no… just a strange dream, is all.”  
  
“Want to tell me about it?” He smiled and she blushed more, laughing.  
  
“It was silly… we went to that vault, you know the one for if the bombs fall? And… well… we got frozen and I woke up two hundred years later…” She whispered.  
  
“Wow, maybe we should cut back on the sugar bombs and comic books before bed then!” He smirked, leaning over to kiss her cheek before he rolled over and curled up to sleep. Guilt filled her as she looked at him. Had the wasteland actually been a dream after all? She lay down, half on her side and half on her belly, and buried her face in her pillow.


	2. Late Breaking News

“Blue! Slow down, wouldja?” Piper called as she picked through underbrush after her girlfriend. It was only when Nora heard the other woman’s cry and a loud thump that she stopped and turned back, her expression turning from determination to worry and regret. She quickly bounced back to help Piper stand, smiling apologetically as she gently wiped tiny pieces of ashen leaves from the reporter’s cheek. 

“Why are you in such a hurry?” Piper asked when her angry face finally relaxed back to one of mild annoyance. Nora opened her mouth to tell what had happened in the dream she’d had a few days before, but… something stopped her. Would Piper understand? Having a dream set in the future, though ludicrous, was not uncommon for anyone, but having such a vivid dream of a day that had never happened in Nora’s memory, two-hundred years before… there was no way that could possibly be real, right? Just the pining of Nora for her life before, the life she would have had if Russia and the United States weren’t such cunts. Piper wouldn’t understand… she might think… that if Nate were here today, alive and breathing, not dead and _still_ in the vault (note-to-self: go get him and bury him properly…) then she wouldn’t be with Piper. Was that true? 

“Wow, wow, Blue…” Piper was suddenly fidgeting and had a freaked-out look on her face. It took a long moment for Nora to realize she was crying. She blushed, wiping tears away from her dirt-stained cheeks and sniffling, trying to apologize with motions, not trusting her voice. Piper grabbed her hands and pulled her into a hug.

“Hey! Hey… Relax, doll! It’s alright.” She soothed softly, stroking the other woman’s dark, auburn hair. Nora allowed herself a few minutes of sniffling and holding before gently pulling back. 

“Thank you… sorry… I’ve been a mess lately, haven’t I?” Nora ran her fingers through her own hair lightly and looked up the hill. They were still _miles_ from Sanctuary. She sighed and looked around a little. Nora changed directions and soon they were rolling up on the Sunshine Tidings Co-Op. She had built them a house in every settlement she founded. A lot of them were nice, but the Sanctuary one was, hands down the nicest. This one was not so bad, but it would never support them living there more than a day or two. 

“I should check in with the settlers…” Nora was murmuring when Piper grabbed her arm and all-but-dragged her into the shelter. She pushed Nora into a chair and knelt before her, looking up into her eyes. 

“Blue!” She said, loudly, but not yelling, concerned, but not backing down. Nora gazed back at her, her hands in the awkward position that Piper forced them into, even now, a squished “x” over her belly. 

“What is going on?! And don’t give me that ‘everything is fine’ nonsense either. You’ve been acting skittish for two days now. I’m a detective… well investigative reporter anyway. And I know you. Something is wrong and you’re not telling me.” Piper said firmly and, when Nora hesitated, Piper continued, “You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Because you’re here, I don’t almost get myself killed… at least not every day, I know how to act around Nat, and I very rarely get threats from the mayor anymore. Not to mention that you make me so happy! Is it mutual?”

“Of course, Piper! Of course it’s mutual.” Nora motioned away Piper’s hands only to pull her up into her lap where she could hold her closely, tightly. 

“Then why are you keeping a secret that is so clearly tearing you to pieces?”

“I’m afraid of losing this, Piper… I’m afraid you’ll think I’m crazy or that I don’t love you…”

“Did you cheat on me?!” Piper asked, suddenly annoyed. “Was it with Cait?!?!” 

“What?!? No!!” Nora’s deer-in-the-headlights face made Piper look at her suspiciously, but let it go, curling back up into her. 

“What is it then? I can handle anything, Blue. I’m worried about you and whatever this is, it’s important to you. If you thought it was truly crazy, you would have forgotten it, written it off at nuts, and ignored it.” 

“I had a dream… but it was a really, really vivid one… I was back… home… but not our home… my home 200 years ago.” She whispered, stroking Piper’s hair as she spoke, moving the reporter’s hat to the arm of the chair. 

“You miss it; that’s normal. For you, it wasn’t 200 years ago, it was just a few months ago.” Piper reasoned softly. 

“I know… it just… It made me remember something… and I couldn’t trust any of the doctors in the major settlements.” Nora bit her lip and looked away, the tears coming once more, blurring her vision.

“Doctors?… God, Blue, what’s going on?” Piper turned Nora’s face back with a gentle palm on her cheek. Nora’s pause was long and Piper bit at her lip nervously, wanting to gently prod her more, but…

“I might be… pregnant.” Nora said softly, finally and Piper blinked. 

“Pregnant??”

“Nate and I… we’d been planning… and I mean, I went through in vitro to have Shaun so we… I had a doctor’s appointment scheduled for the day after the bombs hit… Shaun was still a baby, but we wanted to have two… we both loved Shaun so much and it just… it seemed right to have two and Shaun was going to be almost two by the time his sibling was born… and then everything… everything got so…” Nora’s tears came and Piper wiped them away gently and pulled her lover’s head to her shoulder. 

“God, Blue…” Piper breathed softly, holding the other woman close. 

“But… if she was ever there… she might be… I mean I was frozen… and I never had my period since I woke up, but I figured… I always thought the cryogenics had totally decimated my insides…or something.” Nora whispered, gnawing on her lip. “I’ve been afraid to ask a doctor about it, but now… if I have…” 

“Shhh, shhh… I understand.” Piper finally said, stroking lightly at Nora’s hair and kissing her forehead adoringly. She pulled the other woman upstairs gently, lying her back gently on their bed and straddling her. Nora gazed up at her and bit the inside of her cheek until the meeting of their lips made that impossible. Piper’s kisses were tender and emotional as the reporter’s deft little fingers removed Nora’s metal armor, heavy pieces falling with “thunk”s to the floor beside the bed. As the armor came away gently, Piper’s hands moved to the buttons of her flannel shirt. Nora lay back, letting Piper do as she pleased. The dark-haired journalist was awkward and was known to ramble at times, but Nora trusted her. It wasn’t long before the top half of Nora’s clothing was gone and soft, affectionate hands were running over the skin of Nora’s abdomen gently, then up to her breasts. Her girlfriend's fingerless gloves were gone, resting beside her hat on the bedside table next to their lamp. 

“They’re swollen, Blue.” Piper reported softly, looking up at Nora’s face to see the reaction that news gave, but all she saw when she looked up was the hunger… Piper laughed a little at her and leaned down, kissing her once more, deeply, continuing to gently stroke the heavy breasts in her hands.


	3. The First of Many Answers

“Nora…” A gentle stroke on the arm had her eyes open. No matter which world was the dream one, the reflex to sleep ready for an attack was still present in both realities. The fear of ambush written on her face made Nate chuckle a little. He didn’t understand. No one could. She groaned and buried her face in her pillow, her refuge away from the others that didn’t grasp the severity of her situation. When she fell asleep in one place, she woke in the other. It made her wonder if sleeping less would be a respite… but deciding which world to go sleepless in would be difficult. 

Nora didn’t know what she wanted… Nate had been her best friend, her everything when they got married. Her mother used to say that Nora had the patience of a saint to deal with Nate’s antics, but it was the other way around, always. Nate’s PTSD had been a trial, but they had made it through together and he eventually got better. His annoying bachelor habits dwindled down to things they actually had in common so neither could be annoyed about their spouse's bad habits without analyzing their own. Wherever Nate's behavior was rough around the edges, they had been smoothed down by domesticality. Meanwhile, Nora’s sexuality never changed… he changed for her and she remained the same... It had always been a source of guilt. She smiled at him a little, trying to be less of an annoyance which made him smirk. 

“Oh, decided to be good, huh?” He chuckled, as always, and kissed her forehead. He helped her get up and get ready, then insisted on driving her, but she shook her head a little. 

“No, no… stay here with Shaun. Play charades with Codsworth and watch some TV.” She insisted with a soft grin.

“Are you sure?”

“If it’s bad news… I’d rather hear it on my own first.” She explained softly. Part of her knew that there was a possibility. Not because of anything pre-war… but after being frozen… Nora had forgotten there was even a chance that she was pregnant. She’d been shot, attacked by yao guai, she’d met synthetic humans, staved off armies of ghouls, gone up toe-to-toe with assaultrons, not to even begin mentioning the amount of radiation she'd been exposed to!! If she had ever been pregnant, how big was the likelihood that she still was now? 

When she was in this world, her pre-war home, she knew these were days that had never happened and the things she had been through in the wastes of the Commonwealth were too ridiculous to be made up, even by her twisted little mind. She had always loved post-apocalyptic stories, but this was over the top, even for her, right? Yet, as she finished brushing out her hair, which was back to its full length, not the messy, half-shaven hair cut she’d gotten at Vault 81, everything felt so real, so tangible… She shook her head, letting her curls find comfortable spots over her shoulders. 

“You’re gorgeous.” Nate smiled warmly; she could see him standing in the doorway in the reflection of the mirror and smirked back.

“You did like me more when I was pregnant with Shaun.” She teased with a playful grin.

“Hey, even if things don’t turn out alright… you know that Shaun and I will always be there for you, right? We love you.” Her husband was affectionate. She always wanted to return his feelings, but her in other ways, the feelings she did have for him were enough. She grinned and kissed him softly.

“I know that.” She said, though the fading thoughts of the Commonwealth’s devastated buildings and the countless skeletons still made the response hurt like a hot blade through her chest. 

The drive was a blur. The hum of the reactor made her think of the countless fusion cores she’d pulled out of old generators for various suits of power armor. The Red Rocket station made her think of Dogmeat and his junkyard dog companion who slept in twin dog houses in the warm, wooden refuge she’d built in Sanctuary for all passing animals. Images of the Deathclaw she took on with a minigun flashed as she drove through the streets of Concord. As she parked her car at the office of her OB/GYN, Nora felt like she might, indeed, be going crazy. She sat in her car for a long time, just running her fingers gently over the leather of the steering wheel, thinking of how seeing her son kidnapped had felt, waking up from cryo-sleep and the fatigue that followed, her first view of the sun since going underground, the first buzz of a bloatfly… 

A knock on the window startled her and she nearly jumped out of her skin, turning to see a kind smile. She blushed, smiling back with embarrassment as she opened up the door and got out to join her doctor on the pavement.

“Hey, I spotted your car and, when you didn’t get out, I thought I’d give you a minute, but you seemed pretty far gone… Are you alright?” The other woman asked, softly, kindly. Nora’s blush darkened and she instantly nodded.

“Yeah… Yeah!! Just nervous is all.” She admitted and that won a kind response from the black-haired doctor. Her name was Dr. Amy Quinn and she’d been her doctor since she was old enough to need a gynecologist. It then, just followed naturally that she was in charge of caring for her when Nate and Nora began considering adding someone else to their family.

“Don’t be, it’ll be fine. Worst case scenario, we try again.” Dr. Quinn soothed lightly, rubbing Nora’s shoulders to sooth her, using the same motion to guide her into the office, one of the buildings that Nora had walked past, boarded up… in her dreams? Nora pushed the thought away and walked inside, feigning smiles.

\-------------------

Her stomach roiled and Nora rolled onto the bed with a frown. Nate hadn’t asked her, wouldn’t – she knew he wouldn’t ask until she told him or he thought she might be ready to tell him. He was good like that, respectful of boundaries and secrets… yet Piper and she had no secrets… maybe that was because they didn’t need them… or because she had imagined Piper and therefore their relationship was just automatically everything she wanted in a romance… 

Nora lay on her side, feeling like crying, feeling like being sick, feeling like she should eat… She did not want to eat and doubted she’d be able to stomach anything with flavor… but she hadn’t eaten all day and… she had more than just herself to take care of.

Nora pulled the paper out again, running her fingers over the letters that she’d read a hundred times already. She would leave it for Nate… no, she should tell him herself before he died of worry. But the pillows felt so comforting… so warm and soft that they almost pulled her in… a nap… just a nap… Then she’d deal with Nate.


	4. One Door Closes & How Many Open?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to give a shout out to all of the people reading and following this story. Thank you so much for the kudos, follows, and comments!! :D They totally keep me going! <3 And you're all awesome!

“It’s a medical marvel, really!” Curie was still going on as Piper walked across the room to slide onto the bed next to Nora, wrapping her arms around the sole survivor’s shoulders. The appointed doctor at Sanctuary was discussing options with Curie as Nora curled into her girlfriend’s arms, saying nothing. 

“We’ll make it work, Blue.” Piper whispered into the other woman’s hair gently. Nora was seeing her life crumbling before her eyes, though. What was more important? Finding her first child, who, as far as she could discern had been kidnapped and raised by someone barely better than a fiend… or protecting herself and resting for several months, maybe even a few years, to protect her unborn, second child? The mother felt tears roll down her cheeks and Piper must have felt it too because she hugged Nora even closer. 

“For a fetus to survive for so long inside of…” The sound of Curie’s excited medical mind coming out in a continuous flurry of words didn’t amuse Nora the way that it normally did. She got up slowly, sliding her hand into Piper’s. 

“Will you help me do something?” Nora asked, turning back to Piper, tears still falling.

“Of course, doll. Anything.” Piper wiped tears and dirt away from the redhead’s cheeks gently and followed her to their house. Nora packed up quickly and headed North, up a dirt path and over a little bridge. Soon they were standing at the giant gear-shaped door of Vault 111. 

“Blue…” Piper said, noticing the shovel secured between Nora’s back and her pack for the first time. Nora turned back to look at her lover and smiled just a little.

“I’m sorry, Piper… it’s just something I have to do. He’s been down there for so long. He deserves far better.” Piper nodded, eager to help despite her worry for Nora’s health and mental state. They pressed the button and descended into the vault, traversed the vaguely familiar Vault-Tec halls to the back where Nora had spent the last two-hundred twenty years. 

As they headed for the two freezers at the end of the long row, both recognized that something was wrong. The left-hand container was empty, but it was supposed to be. Its inhabitant was standing out on the floor, long-unfrozen and very much alive. As they looked at the right-hand cell, however, the body that had been lying there, dead by gunshot wound, wedding ring removed as a promise… was missing as well. 

“God… Blue…” Piper started slowly, but Nora barely heard her. She was shaking her head, gazing at the container in complete confusion, brow furrowed. 

“No. I watched him get shot… he was right here.” She insisted softly, pressing her hand to the still-cool glass of the pod door. “He was RIGHT HERE! I saw him die. I felt his body when I took off his ring. He was dead for sure, right here.” She cried out louder, her fist coming down on the Plexiglas in a swift, violent motion.

“Nora…” Piper quickly hugged the other woman tightly from behind to pull her back a little and, after a moment of light struggle, both sank to their knees. Nora was shaking her head and sobbing, as Piper held her, attempting to console her. It felt like forever before Nora quieted and lay limply, exhausted, in her girlfriend’s grasp. 

Everything since she woke up in the Wasteland that remained of Massachusetts had gone south for her. This was just another situation where the apocalypse was destroying her, kicking the breath from her lungs… and yet it felt far sharper than any other instance of this new world getting her down. 

Piper remained, though, holding her, stroking her hair, leaning against the next pod over and just letting her rest there on her chest. Piper was always there for her, Nora knew. Piper was the person she had always wanted in her life, had waited for… her soulmate. She had known the moment she walked up to her talking on the intercom and trying to get into Diamond City. They had clicked in that instant. 

“I love you.” Nora said suddenly and Piper tilted her head to look at her curiously, hesitating until she saw Nora’s face. Nora realized that Piper didn’t know who she was talking to and that broke her heart a little. 

“I love you too, Blue.” She repeated, softly and affectionately as she gently brushed Nora’s hair back away from her face.

“I want to go home.” Piper hesitated answering that time, stroking Nora’s hand which lay in her lap. 

“Which home?”

“Ours.” They both smiled a little bit. Piper helped her up and would have offered to let her ride piggy-back if Nora wasn’t so much taller than her little girlfriend. The walk back was quiet, sad, and reflective and, even when they got back, neither said much, making something to eat at the cook fire, dropping off everything they had scavenged on the way back North, except for the teddy bears. Even as Nora was filling the dry bathtub in their living room with the stuffed bears she found it so amusing to collect, there was little joy or even pleasure in the action.

Piper dragged Nora upstairs and they curled up together on their bed. 

“I don’t want to sleep… when I sleep, I leave.” Nora insisted, but very softly. 

“You haven’t slept since we left Sunshine Tidings…you must be exhausted. I’ll be right here. I’m not going anywhere.” Piper said, softly as well, being the big spoon for once.

“Just a little nap…” Nora murmured softly and, when she opened her eyes, her nap was over. 

She was gazing at the wall, warm body pressed against her. Maybe these flickers back and forth to realities were over now that she had found that Nate was missing. She noticed then, that the wall she was looking at was not made of wood and metal fencing, but drywall with wallpaper. She sighed softly… As she turned and saw him, though, Nora wrapped her arms around him tightly. This startled Nate awake. Her tears soaked his shirt and he hugged her back, affectionately. 

“Wow, wow, what’s the matter?” 

“You were gone! You weren’t… in the vault.” She choked out between cries and times when she just trembled, clinging to him. He lightly stroked her hair.

“That dream again?” She nodded in reply against his chest and he stroked her back, letting her ease all of the frustration with her dream jumping and the worry about where Nate’s body was and the planning for how she was going to raise a baby in post-war apocalyptia. Maybe she was easing the pain of knowing she was going mentally insane, having dreams of another woman, of old women that could see the future when they huffed jet, of giant chameleons with teeth the size of her body… who knew?

“Maybe it’s the hormones.” Nate eventually said softly, stroking Nora’s hair lightly. She could only nod a little bit. Hormones, sugar bombs, whatever was causing these lapses in reality, Nora had to figure it out.


End file.
